Just for This Moment. I will

Just for this moment, I will not have any regrets about the things that I have said and done in the past.

Just for this moment, I will not put myself nor anyone else down. I will do this just for this moment because life is too fleeting and fragile to be awash with negative feelings and thoughts.

Just for this moment, I will not wonder why this and that has happened to me because I know that ninety-five percent of what has happened to me I brought upon myself. The enemy within me is in my blood and the ropes that snare me is in my thinking.

So, just for this moment, I will not wallow in self-pity as this is a locked cage that wants to further confine me.

Now then, let the smile begin and let it be a sincere smile that conveys the unmerited blessings that I am receiving. I have stumbled my way into a maze primarily of my own making and so it is up to me to find my way out of it.

Just for this moment, I will rejoice even as my heart feels the hollowness of my incompleteness.

Just for this moment I will love and adore her even though I know that I cannot touch her because of the nature of the beast that flows through me.

My youth was gone when I was still in my youth and my old age is wasting away because my tainted blood will not allow me to live in peace with it.

My best friend is the fantasies in which I live but even they do not appease the loneliness that I feel.

Those who are better suited to life than I have fallen beside me like straw falling from a hay loft. A few have been taken out by Aids, while drug addiction and tobacco have undone a few. And there are those who have come to an end by murder. And then there are those who have simply faded away into timeless oblivion. And being the least of them all, for reasons unknown, I still stand.

Just for this moment, I will think kind thoughts of everyone, even those who psychologically turn my stomach, because I am no prize to be won or lost, and I have proven repeatedly that bad choices can turn the cleverest person into a fool.

Not that I am saying that I am clever, only that common sense makes no sense if it is not nurtured and used.

Just for this moment, I will open a door and not stub my toes against it.

Just for this moment, I will take inventory of my life with a clear mind.

Just for this moment I will not brood and feel sorry for myself.

Just for this moment, I will be a spark that lights a warm and pleasant fire for someone.

Just for this moment I will climb out of my hole and connect with other people.

Just for this moment I will soar to the outermost Stars and take my place beside the gods.

Just for this moment, I will do this and not look back because I can.

Herbert Hilliard

Born in Daytona Beach, Florida., on April 18, 1955. Have two sisters, a niece, two nephews, and only one child, a Son, and seven grandchildren. BS degree in Computer Information Systems, Jones Collage, Jacksonville Florida.