self-empowerment

The Merits of Placing Your Responsibilities onto Someone Else

I cannot think of anyone who enjoys paying their utility bills. As far as I can surmise everyone would prefer to get their water and electricity for free. There may be some exceptions to this general rule but these people are far in between the norm and hard to find.

Nikola Tesla had the unselfish idea of inventing a technology that would give free electricity to everyone but his development activities were quickly shut down by people like Thomas Edison and Charles A. Coffin the founders of General Electric and their cohorts J.P. Morgan and Anthony J. Drexel the founders of Drexel, Morgan & Co., and the Vanderbilt Family who were more concerned with making money and having control than promoting a universal consciousness.

If it can be done, there is no shame in getting one’s utility services for free if there is no theft involved in the process. However, placing this personal responsibility on someone else is very inconsiderate of others and can spoil a relationship.

Very few people want to be used and taken advantage of because it goes against human nature for anyone to be contented with being placed into any form of bondage, whether it’s a physical or psychological servitude. Yes, it is difficult to say no when family members or close friends are asking for financial help and this help should be given if the need is sincere if possible.

However, when there is a continuing trend by the same person asking for help for the same purpose then the legitimacy of their requests should be evaluated to figure out whether it is a genuine need or simply their method of paying their bills without using their money to do so.

Some people use community agencies to pay their utility bills month after month so as not to use their money to pay these bills. To them this is clever, but to people who are really hurting this practice is very thoughtless and uncaring of others as these services quickly run out of funds for that period because people who can pay their bills are eating up the funds because they refuse to budget and spend their money wisely.

A person’s personal obligations are nobody else’s responsibilities and if a person has any consideration at all for others they will not place their burden on someone else’s shoulders. It is no one’s duty to feed someone if they do not want to feed themselves. It is no one’s else’s duty to pay a person’s utility bills when that person can do so themselves but refuse to simply because they do not want to.

Love and caring can be used by a selfish person as a mallet to beat someone over the head with if they can get away with it. It may hurt, but at some point, there must come a time when enough is enough and the chains of bondage must be broken.

Problems and difficulties are not unique to any person. We all have our share of up’s and downs within this tiny window of time called terrestrial life. Being smart and cute and causing someone else unnecessary worry and anguish is being extremely antisocial to say the very least and is deserving of certain forms of modifications in that self-centered person’s way of thinking.

There is no merit in placing one’s personal responsibilities onto someone else’s shoulders. Excellence comes with being up lifters and supporters not being a drainage valve and a party-pooper. A soft touch and his or her money and peace of mind are soon departed if they allow someone to take advantage of them.

Essential points. Help if the need is genuine and you can do so. Do not be afraid to offend. Help those who are making every effort to help themselves. Do not let guilt guide you. Do not let love and concern blind you. Another person’s bills are not your responsibility and do not let them make you feel that they are. If you are of the people pleaser temperament, avoid helping someone directly as you will more than likely make a mess of your efforts, so use people and resources that are better equipped to give aid and support.

Who’s minding their store? They should be and not you. You have your own bills to pay and by continuing to ask you for money so that they can pay a utility bill they are showing you that your household means absolutely nothing to them and that they will use you until you are famished if you are fool enough to let them.

You cannot control the actions, behavior, and thinking of other people but you can make a stand and a statement for and about yourself. They may get angry with you for pulling back but they will get over it, and if not, they will at least have a little more respect for you than they did when you were letting them control you.

So, what are the merits of placing your responsibilities onto someone else? None that are noteworthy that I can see, but this is just my opinion you may think differently about this topic.

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Just for This Moment. I will

Just for this moment, I will not have any regrets about the things that I have said and done in the past.

Just for this moment, I will not put myself nor anyone else down. I will do this just for this moment because life is too fleeting and fragile to be awash with negative feelings and thoughts.

Just for this moment, I will not wonder why this and that has happened to me because I know that ninety-five percent of what has happened to me I brought upon myself. The enemy within me is in my blood and the ropes that snare me is in my thinking.

So, just for this moment, I will not wallow in self-pity as this is a locked cage that wants to further confine me.

Now then, let the smile begin and let it be a sincere smile that conveys the unmerited blessings that I am receiving. I have stumbled my way into a maze primarily of my own making and so it is up to me to find my way out of it.

Just for this moment, I will rejoice even as my heart feels the hollowness of my incompleteness.

Just for this moment I will love and adore her even though I know that I cannot touch her because of the nature of the beast that flows through me.

My youth was gone when I was still in my youth and my old age is wasting away because my tainted blood will not allow me to live in peace with it.

My best friend is the fantasies in which I live but even they do not appease the loneliness that I feel.

Those who are better suited to life than I have fallen beside me like straw falling from a hay loft. A few have been taken out by Aids, while drug addiction and tobacco have undone a few. And there are those who have come to an end by murder. And then there are those who have simply faded away into timeless oblivion. And being the least of them all, for reasons unknown, I still stand.

Just for this moment, I will think kind thoughts of everyone, even those who psychologically turn my stomach, because I am no prize to be won or lost, and I have proven repeatedly that bad choices can turn the cleverest person into a fool.

Not that I am saying that I am clever, only that common sense makes no sense if it is not nurtured and used.

Just for this moment, I will open a door and not stub my toes against it.

Just for this moment, I will take inventory of my life with a clear mind.

Just for this moment I will not brood and feel sorry for myself.

Just for this moment, I will be a spark that lights a warm and pleasant fire for someone.

Just for this moment I will climb out of my hole and connect with other people.

Just for this moment I will soar to the outermost Stars and take my place beside the gods.

Just for this moment, I will do this and not look back because I can.

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What to Do If You Don’t Have Any Good Memories?

What to do if you don’t have any good memories? The first thing that you should do is realize that you do have a good memory or two embedded someplace in your life. These life experiences may have a very brief duration and they may have come at lengthy intervals, but they are there. Another thing to be mindful of is that your memories are a product of your thinking and that your thinking is articulated by how you live your life. Not being able to see any good portion of your life logically leads to depression and even worst.

You build your memories, so it’s up to you as what type of memories they are. Even with health problems and other difficulties that are out of your control you have the mastery of your thinking. I know that this sounds all sweet and cuddly and that you have heard this over and over again before. So, have I which is why I repeat this saying to myself as a reminder when I can only see darkness in my memories and start belittling myself. It’s easy to lose what you have if you do not appreciate it. The lines of my life are not all straight and dimly lit there are shadows and colors throughout them.

What to do if you don’t have any good memories? If a person has lived to be age twelve and beyond, just as an example, it’s hard to imagine that this person does not have at least one good memory that they can relish. This good memory is undoubtedly deeply submerged within the mind by other life experiences, but it is there.

This good memory can be as simple as your smiling to someone and them smiling back to you that gave you a good feeling for that moment. Or the sound of a bird singing, or how wondrous out sister planet the Moon looks in the day or night sky. Good memories of your past are not hard to find if you want to find them. I must remind myself of this when I want to weep and mourn for myself.

As you can imagine, changing your set way of thinking is a difficult task. You are reconfiguring the chemical composition and electrical circuits in your brain when you are transforming your way of thinking. Some people attempt to do this by the use of certain medications. Others by engaging in a belief system that is greater than them. While others want to use brute force to modify their thinking habits and patterns. Whatever works for you, that is what works for you. As for me, I reach to a source that is greater than me to help me find those many hidden positives that have occurred during my life.

At present my success rate by using this approach is dismal, not because of the source, but because I am a terror unto myself. I want to change the way that I think and yet I resist this change at the same time. Like a seed that will not germinate, I allow the life-giving waters of thought purification to have no effect on me.

This is not because my current way of thinking is my comfort zone, on the contrary, my current way of viewing myself and the world around me is fractured and shattered. It highlights and underlines everything that I dislike about myself and shroud that into a world view.

One thing that has prevented me from tumbling into the deep end of self-loathing and depression is my ability to laugh and make fun of myself. I recognize my faults and shortcomings and make an effort to correct them. This is an LTE (Long Term Evolution) process that will take as long as it takes to complete it. I fall on my face daily, get up, and continue the process.

Hopefully, I have learned something valuable each time that I fall that I can use to achieve my goal. My willingness and effort to improve myself is a good memory that I can feed upon from the day or hour before. Good memories are not hard to find if you are willing to find them. However, finding those good memories is just the first step of recognizing them as being part of my life’s experiences along with the not so good memories that I tend to focus on.

Once those good memories are found I must diligently pitch my tent over them so that the negative electrical charges in my brain are equally balanced with positive ones. There must be a balance because too much of a good thing is not necessarily good and may hinder personal growth because you are using only one pool of your life experiences to pull from.

As the electrical impulses migrate opening new channels and closing old ones the chemistry in my brain is changed by this as well. Hopefully, the result of all this electrical and chemical modifying is a refreshing of the inner person that has become stagnate in thinking. I shall see.

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