#human relationships

In Silence. HIV and AIDS do not make the news anymore, but it is still destroying lives in silence. No one should be content with human suffering in any form. We should always fight against it. We advance as a species by standing against human, animal, and ecological afflictions.

Let us not be swayed by the current trends but stand for that which is natural and right. We grow individually and collectively by uplifting ourselves from the mind and the passions of the depraved by elevating our conscious domain and awareness. Human-created suffering is not natural and must not be the accepted norm.

The entire world has recently experienced the horrors of a laboratory-created illness that has negatively changed our lives. There is little doubt that HIV, which causes AIDS, is a biological weapon created by the United States. HIV was an experimental project using homosexuals and criminals as the subjects. These subjects were this biological weapon’s operational targets upon deployment.

Just as recent events illustrate, sloppy control and management procedures allowed the weapon to escape into the general population. Dead bodies, undue suffering, and social disorder were and are the results of these biological leakages. These are not conspiracies. These are facts.

There are people in power, “people with money,” whose goal to drastically reduce the earth’s human population is very much alive and active. These people will not enter the line, much less get to the front of the line to be the first to be eliminated to achieve their goal.

Enough said about the “root cause” of so much human misery, let’s get back to HIV. For many interest groups, it is advantageous financially to keep HIV active. We all know the financial advantages of an active virus, so there is no need to specify them here. What we need to emphasize is human compassion over self-centeredness and money.

Just be patient. The human population will naturally self-destruct much quicker than any of the other now-extinct life forms that have inhabited this planet. For now, let’s fight for a cure for HIV if one is not available, and if a cure for HIV is available, let’s demand that it be accessible to all people.

Join Hiveaid.org and stand out and make a difference in your life and in the lives of others.

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Alive and Deadly. HIV has not gone away. This virus is still very much alive and is just as deadly. According to descovyhcp.com, “An estimated 40,000 new infections will be diagnosed this year in the United States (US)2.
Approximately 1.1 million individuals are at risk of sexually acquired HIV.” You can view the entire article at https://www.descovyhcp.com/.

According to unaids.org, “In 2018, around 770 000 [570 000–1.1 million] people died from AIDS-related illnesses worldwide, compared to 1.7 million [1.3 million–2.4 million] in 2004 and 1.2 million [860 000–1.6 million] in 2010.” Young women aged 15–24 years are twice as likely to be living with HIV than men” also, tuberculosis remains the leading cause of death among people living with HIV, accounting for around one in three AIDS-related deaths. You can read the entire report at https://www.unaids.org/en/resources/fact-sheet.

So, what do these statistics mean to me, and what do they mean to you? These statistics show a life destroyer is still lurking and will take advantage of our lack of discretion. The psychological effects of living with HIV can cause a person to lose interest in life and compassion for others. Despite the use of antiretroviral therapy living with HIV can give you a feeling of helplessness. You want so much to say something to her, you want so much to say something to him, but your illness prevents it.

HIV has not gone away. It still kills. Only, quietly now like so many other diseases moved from the media spotlight. Protect yourself and others. Respect yourself and others. Be mindful that you are the world, and all its peoples are within you, so love them by not deliberately harming them.

Hiveaid.org

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How Do You Feel About Yourself Today? The stigma of being HIV positive is a balancing act between self-disdain and self-acceptance. How do you feel about yourself today? How did you sleep last night, if at all? What were your dreams about if you were able to sleep? What are you looking forward to today?

Contentment and happiness aren’t environmental constructs but are the products of the mind. The mind is where we live. The body is where we merely exist. So, what can we do to find joy in both mind and body?

Perhaps not thinking too harshly of ourselves is a place to start. And not thinking negatively of others is our next step along our path towards inner peace.

There is nothing gained by self-pity except the depleting of the energy force that connects us to unimaginable windows, orbs, and spheres. We can love and be loved. We can make love if we are mindful of ourselves and others.

Holding on. It is easy to allow the things that I have allowed people to do to me in the past to make me hateful and resentful. But I must rise above this. I should not and cannot give them that much control over me. They are assigned to a horrid memory and that is where I should leave them.

It is foolish for me to carry them around with me day after day. I cannot undo my mistakes. Wishing that I had done it differently is a grand waste of time and energy. They are out of sight but not out of mind. I cast my bitterness upon others who have caused me no harm and just want to go about their lives caring less about me.

When I catch, myself falling into this downward spiral of thinking I try to redirect my thoughts onto things that are uplifting and positive. I remind myself that I voluntarily played the fool for them, and that being the case, I should not resent them. Whatever happened to me I did it to myself. They did not force me into behaving unwisely as I took that venture upon myself.

Accepting my responsibility is sound but it does not ease the shame of myself that I feel for being so ridiculous. I get angry when the thought of them pops into my mind, but not so much angry with them as I am with myself.

Life is much too short and much too fragile to be living it in an agitated state. The clear majority of people are not my enemies. The clear majority of people can care none to less about me. In a world of people that are becoming increasingly more afraid of their own shadows, I should be a source of refreshment when met not an amalgamation of the whole. Maturity comes by learning from your living experiences but I now live as if I have learned nothing from the dastardly predicament’s that I unwittingly placed myself in during the past.

I make myself physically ill by holding onto things that should be let go of. I position myself as being unapproachable and my days and nights are alone and friendless because I allow resentments to influence me. I hate being around people and I don’t want to be alone.

I want a sweet darling girl to kiss and hug, to laugh and talk with, to move and shake with, to make the day a blessing for her, myself, and for others. But bitterness concerning my past antics keeps me from reaching out and touching. I feel disgraced and stupid, totally unworthy of a companion. I feel like viciously beating myself with myself until not an atom of me stays intact.

I must get over this. Life does not stand still for anyone. In a moment, the worms and the flies will know my inward parts and any evidence of me will eventually all pass away. I multiply my past foolishness by giving the past dominion of the present. I give the destroyers the thumbs-up to continue haunting me by hanging on to them. I waste fleeting time on something that I cannot change. I know what I must do but to do it successfully on a twenty-four seven eludes me. I hate being this way and I want to change but the memory of my idiocy is like a virus flowing through my veins.

Powers that cleanse and renew, come to me and rinse my mind of the thoughts that impede and restrain me from living my life. Help me to mature and grow, to let go and move forward. Strengthen me in my body, mind, and spirit so that I may reach out and touch and diffuse kindness and caring in my surroundings. This I ask, and this it shall be.

Nine and a Half Years of Fleeting Life Wasted Because Of Lack of Knowledge became hooked on crack cocaine at the beginning of 1987. From the start of my addiction, I knew that the consequences of my habit would be the total subjugation of my life to it, the wreckage of all my hopes and dreams, the demolition of my computer hardware career, and everything else conducive to a wholesome and fruitful life.

I allowed the weakness of my mind to transform me into a slave in bondage to my own desires. I knew that if there was any hope of me getting my act back together that it must start with the complete abstinence from my drug of choice.

Now, I felt that I was looking at myself from a remote place that I once inhabited. Everything was surreal and lacking any sense of genuineness as I muddled along in the grip of my drug craving. I cried and I prayed for the strength to get out of the ghastly predicament that I had foolishly placed myself within. I was ashamed of myself and kept as far away from my family as possible because I did not want them to see what I had done to myself.

At this early stage in my addiction, there was a faint ray of hope that I would be able to strap my groans and get it back together because I had the desire to do so. During the following year of 1987, this tiny ray of hope was given a death blow when I was told that I was HIV positive. I was informed of this diagnosis at a blood bank that I frequented to get funds to support my habit when I was unable to find work on that day.

Needless to say, this news was like being shot in the head with a cannon. At this time, in the middle eighties, the common consensus was that a person who had HIV had from six months to a year at most to live. I believed what I was hearing about my illness and based on that information I utterly gave up on life.

What was the point in being drug-free when I only had six months to a year at most to live? I isolated myself even when people were all around me. The only thing that I had to look forward to being was becoming very sick and dying miserably.

For nine and a half years I waited for the moment of my demise while living in the wasteland of a drug-controlled life. With every cold, I prepared myself for the coffin as this was the knowledge of the consequence of my scourge that I had. I placed my confidence in the wisdom of mortals and wallowed in my death garment as I went about making money to support my drug habit.

Now my cries and my prayers were two-fold, that I gain my freedom from drug addiction and that this wicked plague is taken away from me. Nine and a half years of an already brief moment to experience physical life was shattered by the use of drugs because I placed my confidence upon the carbon-based and did not cement my cries and prayers with celestial faith.

For nine and a half years I lived as a vagabond, as a vagrant in my disease infected body, as a drifter in my loathsome mind, and as a wandering lifeless spirit because of my lack of knowledge.

This is not an epitaphic discourse concerning physical existence in spiritual death, because it is most laughable as a fool and his or her aspirations are quickly disjointed when they place all their assurances on maggot food such as they are, and not look towards the true knowledge base that surpasses the breath and make void the shovel.

For nine and a half years, the count is finished, and the hours are a complete waste because a little knowledge is a grand destroyer, and if the knowledge that one does have is not seasoned with wisdom, time becomes a looter, but only if one surrenders and does not stand up and fight against the odds and the general consensus.