hiveaid.org Blog | Stories, Support & Living with HIV

Primitive Modern Woman/Man at A Glance

Primitive Modern Woman. Why are there wars, hatred, violence, greed, racism, poverty, suffering, hunger, sexual perversion, sickness, aging, and death? These questions have been asked before the first languages were formed. The answers given are the same today as they were from the beginning. The minds of women and men are embryonic by nature. Left to their own devices, they will always revert to their primitive instincts.

Modern neuroscientist like Paul D. Maclean in the 1960s proposed an interesting theory. He suggested that a segment of the human brain named the basal ganglia (R-complex or Reptilian Brain) is responsible. It influences negative human behaviors that are instinctual in nature. These behaviors include dominance, territoriality, ritual displays, and aggression. This may or may not be the case. New technologies are employed to map the human brain. Scientists aim to find out how its various components work in harmony to make a human, human.

Peoples and cultures that are more in harmony with nature are less likely to show negative behaviors. These negative behaviors are rampant in cultures that are self-centered and materialistic. So if this is the case, the Reptilian Brain can’t be the sole culprit for the human preoccupation with wars. It also can’t be the sole culprit for hatred. It is not solely responsible for violence, greed, racism, poverty, suffering, and hunger. It also can’t be blamed exclusively for sexual perversion, sickness, aging, and death.

Evolutionists have been preoccupied since Darwinism was turned into a religion. They have sought the missing link that defines modern humans. Many now propose that human evolution is a series of branches. It is not a straight shot as once postulated. Nonetheless, this still does not answer the basic question. Why is so-called intelligent life so flamboyantly savage in their thinking? Virtually all scientific and technological accomplishments in the past two hundred years have come from a human wish. This urge is to annihilate itself. This craving has driven many innovations.

Even today there is an ongoing plan set in place to kill at least four-fifths of the human population of the planet so that a select few can rule and live abundantly. Historical records seem to show that human civilizations in the remote past of Earth history have ultimately destroyed themselves just as the people who control the modern age are energetically marching to do now.

Modern humans want to combine themselves with animal DNA. They aim to create genetically engineered hybrids. People in the remote past were successful in doing this. It made every moment of their lives filled with horror and terror of the creatures they had created.

Modern people are searching for a higher state of existence, just like the peoples of old. But, they are looking in the wrong places. Some modern humans want to channel themselves to regions unknown and communicate with dead bones. Some humans want to believe that mysterious interstellar beings have an ongoing agenda to uplift humanity. Others place their hopes and faith in various forms of religion.

The bottom line is that human beings are born. They grow old and ugly. And then they die. In this fleeting moment of terrestrial life, an individual must act swiftly. This is necessary if they aspire to elevate their minds to a higher state of being. The reality is stark. Only one person among eight hundred and eighty-eight million will gain even a faint glimpse of cognitive achievement. Achieving a spiritual state of mind over matter is equally rare.

The age-old questions persist. Why are there wars, hatred, and violence? Why is there greed, racism, and poverty? Why do suffering and hunger exist? What about sexual perversion, sickness, aging, and death? These questions are flamboyantly mute. This is given the reality of the terrestrial sphere of realities that mortals (humans) temporarily live within.

This does not mean that a person should not strive to achieve a grandiose mindset. This mindset is splendid in its harmony and respect for nature and other human beings. Do not be offended if you fall flat on your gluteus maximus. Do not be upset with yourself in your attempts to raise yourself to a higher level of human expressions.

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The Compassion of Unknowing Death’s Hour

RecentPosts / Herbert Hilliard

Compassionate Mercy. Imagine how human societies would be if everyone knew the exact date, moment, and circumstance of their death. It goes without saying that the world would be in a more chaotic state. This chaos would be greater than it is now if everyone had this advance knowledge about themselves. Different personalities would handle the knowledge of the exact timeline and circumstance of their death in different ways.

Some people will make peace with knowing that on this date, and at this moment, and in this way, they will be dead. Other people will lose their minds because of this advance knowledge. While others will go on a crime and murder spree as the sounding of their death bell approaches.

No one would be safe on earth. If each person knew the precise moment and circumstance of their departure, safety would not exist. On the other hand, everyone on earth would be safe by knowing the exact time and circumstance of their death. They would know they are safe during their allotted time on earth. They can do whatever they please without fearing an untimely demise.

Human history shows that humans have never placed a great deal of value on human life. Now, imagine how valueless human life would be. Suppose each man and woman on earth knew the precise date, moment, and circumstance of their death.

Of course, there are many instances where a person knows the exact date, moment, and circumstance of their death. They have dealt with this knowledge as their personality and temperament allow. If every man, woman, and child knew that today is their last day alive, it would change how people think. This realization introduces a new dynamic. It affects how they conduct themselves on a civil and social level.

Likewise, they feel the seconds of being alive tick away. They know that tonight they are going to swing high or low sweet chariot. Some individuals contemplate suicide when they learn they have only a month to live. Others wonder if they can endure just a week, a day, or even an hour left to live. They do this hoping to make a mockery of their time sheet.

No one will succeed in a suicide unless it is destined to be their cause of death. Those who are not meant to die by suicide will be engaging in a useless effort. That is not the way their death has been determined to occur.

Hope and faith will not disappear under these conditions. People will hope that they are the select few with significant brownie points accumulated with the angel of death. They may delude themselves with a belief that they are chosen. Such people think they are set apart. They believe this separation happens at a precise date, moment, and circumstance like everyone else.

Fortunately, mercy prevails in that the norm is that a person does not know the exact date. They are spared the moment and circumstance when the angel of death will pay them a surprise visit. Human beings are conceived in death and are allotted a puff of life before returning to their native state.

The joke of life is on the living, not for the dead. The dead are not conscious of anything. They are not even aware of the worms consuming them and turning what was something into nothing.

It is natural for a person to be afraid of death because the unknown is mysterious and frightening. Religions of all persuasions seek to comfort the natural fear of death. They promise hope and faith. These, though, offer no salvation from the permanent lights out. This will happen at a specific date, a fixed time, and under definite circumstances.

How considerate it is that mortals are spared knowledge of their final moments. This will be the last time we comb or brush our hair while looking in the mirror. In just minutes, our lifeless body will be taken away for someone else to comb and brush our hair.

The birds are still chirping and the squirrels are still gathering nuts in May. The planet Earth is still revolving around the Sun. The Earth’s sister planet, the Moon, is still making its circuit around it. Everything is going quite well within the heavens and the cosmos is still full of lights. But your lights and my lights are out like a light. They will never flicker again. That is just the way of it.

It is merciful that the exact date of our death is universally kept hidden from us. The moment and circumstance of our demise are also concealed. These are flickering moments between deaths. No one rests in peace because a sense of peace is predicated on feelings, senses, and emotions. These can’t be experienced if a person is as dead as a dumbbell.

The sound of ocean waves breaking along the shore is haunting and lonely at night. It gives you a sense of how fleeting and fragile life is. Today and tonight are the end of the world for someone. Tomorrow, the ocean waves will still be breaking along the shore. The kindest thing given to all human beings is that they do not have an exact countdown of their future. This absence prevents lawlessness. It ensures that creativity is not stifled.

So, what is the point of this article? The point of this article is that a small fish is swimming along and with a zap, a larger fish eats it. The point of this article is that a construction worker has twenty minutes left on a Friday. He is contemplating how the weekend will be spent. He is then crushed by a cherry picker. This happened to me on a Friday, but I survived the crunch.

The point of this article is that a person goes to bed filled with worries about the next day. When morning comes, that person is no longer among the living. The point of this article is that the very next second is a mystery. The second before is now history. Between those two intervals is where life exists.

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Side Effects Anyone?

RecentPosts / Herbert Hilliard

Side Effects Anyone? It is common knowledge that if a person is prescribed medication, adverse effects can follow. Adverse effects can also occur if a person purchases an over-the-counter medication to treat an illness. On average, nine more problematic health symptoms will result from taking that medication. These unwanted results of taking medications are quaintly called side effects.

The term side effects sound very congenial and harmless. These two words roll blissfully from the tongue. But, the implications of those words may be psychologically and physiologically devastating. They may even produce death on occasions for the user.

Modern medications are not designed to cure anything. They are developed to allow a steady flow of revenue for the manufacturers. They cause people to become addicted to them. This is why so many medications have a vast assortment of side effects. Producers sidestep and back-pedal as much as legally possible. They aim to get their medications on the market as soon as they can.

Years of in-the-field case studies are skipped in preference to computer simulations to decide the effectiveness of a new medication.

People are often asked to join in studies. This allows medical professionals to decide the usefulness of various medical treatments and medications. These studies focus on selected population groups. Some of these research results are probably used to improve certain medical treatments and medications. I believe that the majority of that data is stored in different databases. Cures for illnesses seem to be withheld. They are not released for use as long as the current medical treatments and medications stay profitable.

Herbal (all natural) remedies are a popular choice to conventional medications. From my personal experiences with herbal remedies, I have concluded that the majority of them are simply place-a-boo. If not all of them, they now offer no real advantage. This was how I used to pronounce the word pla·ce·bo (placebo) until I learned the correct pronunciation. And many of these herbal remedies have their own share of side effects.

For example, I purchased an herbal remedy promoted as a sure treatment for overactive bladder (OAB). After two days of taking this treatment, I developed an itching rash on both of my lower arms. I stopped taking this herbal remedy and after three days the itching rash was gone from my arms.

This was an extreme reaction to this particular herbal remedy. In other cases, using different brands for concerns like increasing energy, I noticed no difference. I couldn’t feel any change in how I felt before taking the herbal remedy. In other words, the herbal remedies didn’t do a thing except cost me money.

I have done some personal research on the effectiveness of current HIV and AIDS medications. I have concluded that their usefulness in treating this illness is a very open question. Many people have told me that they physically feel the same before and after starting the treatment regimen.

Their doctors tell them that their CD4 count has been lowered by taking the prescribed medications. They also mention that their T-cells are looking better. Still, as far as they can tell, they do not feel any different.

Now I seriously advocate that an HIV and AIDS patient take their prescribed medications as directed. I know that these medications are costly. They are of no help. Certainly, they will not cure a person of HIV and AIDS because they are not designed to. Yet, be on the safe side and take them anyway.

There is a cure for HIV and AIDS. Nonetheless, it has not been released yet. Researchers are still conducting field tests. They study the effects of the virus on different ethnic groups and genders outside of controlled clinical environments.

As I mentioned in another article about HIV and AIDS medications. HIV and AIDS are a designed bio-genetics weapon built in the United States to kill so-called black people, homosexuals, and drastically reduce the world’s human population. The virus inadvertently got out of a particular lab while it was still under testing and development affected people outside of the targeted groups.

This is no big deal to the HIV and AIDS developers and researchers. By accident, they now have access to a much broader range of diversity in human genie pigs. This allows them to tweak the effects of the weapon.

Many people claim that HIV and AIDS are composed of multiple bio-genetics weapons. They believe the United States of America developed these weapons. They argue these have been in development for decades to deploy against its own people. People do not want to believe that their government can be that sinister.

Still, they claim the evidence of this is well documented and Dr. Robert Gallo even admits that he created HIV and AIDS to depopulate the world. Robert Gallo is the man who reportedly created the HIV and AIDS virus. He admits he created AIDS to deliberately depopulate humanity. the-man-who-created-hiv-aids-virus-robert-gallo-admits-he-created-aids-to-deliberately-depopulate-humanity

Whether this Robert Gallo is responsible for the development of HIV and AIDS is anyone’s guess. If he is not, to claim such a cowardly deed is so despicable as to be unworthy of further comments.

Having stated the above I must mention that the accepted belief of when, where, and how HIV originated is:

When: SIV (simian immunodeficiency virus) attacks the immune systems of monkeys and apes. It is believed that SIV transitioned into HIV (human immunodeficiency virus) around 1920.

Where: Again around 1920, scientists believed that they traced the transmission of SIV to HIV in humans. This occurred in Kinshasa in the Democratic Republic of Congo (Africa).

How: By the natives butchering and consuming SIV infected monkey meat.

HIV and AIDS (acquired immunodeficiency syndrome) hit the U.S. stage of awareness in the 1980s. It was commonly referred to as GCS (gay compromise syndrome). This term was used because homosexual males transmitted the HIV and AIDS virus across the United States rapidly. Even today homosexual males are the leading spreaders of HIV and AIDS worldwide.

Regardless of any of that, it is well known that the shadow government of the United States have a depot of biogenetics and other types of weapons at the ready that will be used to exterminate black people and all other deemed undesirables when they feel that the moment is appropriate to launch them starting within the United States first and then annihilating globally.

OK, now that we have that settled, let’s move on.

All medications have a list of side effects. Some are annoying while others can be deadly. The secondary effects of a prescribed or over-the-counter drug differ with each individual. Some people build their entire lives around their medication regimen. Others feel that they have a notable status due to the number of medications they take each day. A drug seller on the streets is arrested and sent to prison. Meanwhile, doctors and pharmacists are encouraged by cash and influence to create a tidy reservoir of legal drug addicts.

Side effects anyone? Modern medications and medical techniques have raised the life expectancy of people. Nevertheless, these advancements do not assure a healthy quality of life. People live longer. Yet, they are in worry and misery. They have lost a vital element in anyone’s life: their freedom and independence.

The key side effects of medications are seldom listed on the drug packages. These include becoming addicted to the drug and becoming financially broke from paying for it. But such is life. We are born. We grow old and ugly. Then we die. Side effects anyone?

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The Last Prophet! – Michel de Nostradamus?

RecentPosts / Herbert Hilliard

The Last Prophet. The wine press is full of people claiming to be prophets nowadays. They gather a large group of believers in their camps. Yet, most of these self-proclaimed prophets and futurists are frauds and fakes. Their only purpose is to milk the gullible out of their money.

It is normal for a person to want to feel special. They want to have a sense that they are above the fold. They believe they own exceptional knowledge and gifts that few other people have. So, personal recognition and acclaim, along with greed, drive people to draw attention to themselves. They do this by proclaiming that they are a prophet.

One definition of a prophet is, “an authoritative person who divines the future.” (Microsoft Word Thesaurus). Another definition of prophet is, “one who prophesies, or foretells events. A prophet is a predictor or foreteller.” Another definition is, “one inspired or instructed by God to speak in his name. A prophet announces future events.” (Webster Dictionary).

None of the above definitions emphasizes that a prophet must be sincere, unambiguous, and reliable in their predictions. None of these definitions of a prophet suggests that vagueness is the status-quo of prophetic utterances. This is the technique employed by all self-proclaimed prophets throughout history. This means that a prophet defines themselves. It is not defined by a set of standards that a certified seer must adhere to.

Many devotees hail Michel de Nostradamus as being a genuine prophet. Yet, reading his quatrains is unnerving, to say the least. They simply do not make any sense. They can be interpreted to mean anything. It is amazing how people relate his quatrains to past and future events. This is a feat in mind reading of the dead on their part.

I understand why Michel de Nostradamus wrote as he did during the time that he lived because the Catholic Church was on a rampage at that time murdering and torturing in abandon, and he certainly did not want to be the next person burned at the stake by the church. Yet, it seems that if Michel de Nostradamus earnestly wanted to forewarn people about future events he would have also written a script of his quatrains in clear, readable language that was only to be published after his death and out of reach of the Catholic Church.

Some examples of the prophecies of Michel de Nostradamus are as such:

Century 3, Quatrain 35, reads:

“From the depths of the West of Europe

A young child will be born of poor people,

He who by his tongue will seduce a great troop;

His fame will increase towards the realm of the East.”

Now, what does this mean? Many devotees of Michel de Nostradamus say that this is a prophecy of the rise of Adolf Hitler. Michel de Nostradamus could have been talking about anyone. During his time, many warlords throughout Europe were vying for wealth and power.

Century 6, Quatrain 97, reads:

“Two steel birds will fall from the sky on the Metropolis,

The sky will burn at forty-five degrees’ latitude,

Fire approaches the great new city,

Immediately a huge, scattered flame leaps up,

Within months, rivers will flow with blood,

The undead will roam the earth for little time.”

The above quatrain is ascribed as being a prediction of 911 by Michel de Nostradamus. But is it really? A person with the ability to see into the future should give far more details about people and places. These details should not be obscure references that can be interpreted and misinterpreted as the reader sees fit.

No one who had been reading the writings of Michel de Nostradamus interpreted century 6, quatrain 97 correctly before the disaster. They only associated it with New York, New York, United States of America, and the Twin Towers after it happened. This should show that no one knows how to properly interpret the prophecies of Michel de Nostradamus. It may also suggest that his prophecies can’t be correctly interpreted because they are so open-ended and ambiguous.

There were large towers in Michel de Nostradamus’s day. He could have said steel birds flew into towers. But he said that steel birds fell on a metropolis. And what does he mean by the undead roaming the earth and “little time” for what? Also, when, and where did rivers flow with blood within months after 911?

I am now proclaiming myself to be a prophet and I predict that someday I will die. I have just foretold the future. No one can deny that someday my prophecy will come true. Still, the prophecy is vague. It is something that even a child knows. If I were to divine the exact day, specific time, and exact way I will die, that would be significant. If this prediction comes true, my claim of being a genuine prophet would be validated.

Century 10, Quatrain 75, reads:

“Long awaited, he will not take birth in Europe,

India will produce the immortal ruler,

Seeing wisdom and power of unlimited scope,

Asia will bow before this conquering scholar.”

This is a prophecy by Michel de Nostradamus. It is ascribed as meaning that the Anti-Christ, or an Anti-Christ, will come from India. “Long awaited”, “immortal ruler”, “conquering scholar”. What are these phrases telling us, and what will this ruler rule? Anything can be made of this prophecy from history and it does not give any enlightenment about anything.

Century 3, Quatrain 1, reads:

“After combat and naval battle,

The great Neptune in his highest belfry:

Red adversary will become pale with fear,

Putting the great Ocean in dread.”

Now, what in the world is he trying to convey? The people who lived in his day may have had an idea. Those in his region also might have understood. To people outside his region and to future generations, these lines mean absolutely nothing. “great Neptune”, “Red adversary”, “Ocean in dread.” What is Michel de Nostradamus seeing that caused him to use these terms? Only he knows?

If someone is telling your fortune in such a blurred formless manner, you can interpret their words in different ways. They are just wasting your time. They are not giving you anything that you can’t give yourself.

A true prophet wants to inform and enlighten, not puzzle and confuse. A true prophet is clear and specific. This is because the prophet wants what they are prophesying to be understood. A person who can see into the future understands their potential to change the course of human history. They will be as direct and precise as possible when conveying this information to the public.

A true prophet does not look for fame and fortune. Instead, they have a deep sense of loving and caring for people. A true prophet really sees into the future. No one can be judged as a true prophet when all their revelations are seen after the fact.

A true prophet understands that human actions are not written in stone. Many misfortunes and bad decisions can be avoided. This happens with the advance knowledge of the benefits and consequences that certain actions and decisions will produce. Knowing this, a true prophet does not ramble. They do not speak in circles. They come to the point and let people know what is going on.

I have nothing against Michel de Nostradamus. From reading many of his quatrains, I have nothing for him either as someone endowed with supernatural mystic talents. I believe that Michel de Nostradamus tinkered with his herbal concoctions too much late at night in his attic. He really did have visions. Still, seeing things in an abnormal state of mind does not qualify a person as being a prophet.

People just love doomsday. If there is a conversation about heaven and hell, the conversation about hell will always attract the most interest. Talking about kissing, loving, and hugging one another all day gets boring after a few moments. Yet, talking about obliteration, annihilation, and devastation can be entertaining for several hours.

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Being Health-Conscious Living with HIV

RecentPosts / Herbert Hilliard

Being Health Conscious. The best practices for anyone living with HIV and AIDS is to be health conscious. Being health conscious with HIV and AIDS means educating oneself about the virus. It involves pursuing a nutritious low-fat diet and proper exercise. It also includes taking the prescribed medications.

I am very slack on doing all of these, even though I am HIV positive. I have a lackadaisical attitude toward health. Additionally, I smoke cigarettes. Smoking is a huge no, no even without a detrimental health condition.

One reason I decided to be lax in taking my HIV medications is because these medications can cause erectile dysfunction. The psychological impact of being HIV positive has deeply affected me. This impact is far more significant than the effect of the HIV medications. I have an ever-constant awareness of my illness. This awareness creates a fear of the negative consequences it may have on an innocent woman.

In other words, my genitals have effectively been removed. My dream and wish for having a loving, caring relationship with a woman has been extinguished. This is due to the anxiety that I feel in being a carrier of this hideous virus. Thus, my diligence to be health conscious has been compromised. I felt that my life, at least a wholesome life, was brought to a disgraceful and deserving end. This feeling arose when I was diagnosed as being HIV positive.

Feeling like a sub-human because of being HIV positive may show a strong willingness to sit on the pity pot. It might also be like committing suicide by proxy. But what the hell, no one lives forever.

My cigarette habit is not only a health-conscious issue. It also makes me feel weak-minded. I feel like I have allowed myself to be controlled by a ragweed. I stop smoking every so often and then start blowing smoke again. The gruesome side of my cigarette habit is that I have been isolating myself. I have not had human contact for the past number of years. Cigarettes have become a murderous companion to ease the loneliness.

Just for today, I am clean and sober. I have been this way for twenty years since I stopped using crack cocaine. I am not saying that smoking cigarettes are a harder habit to break than drugs or alcohol. Yet, I was younger when I stopped using drugs. I saw some daylight ahead of me. I had not compounded my health problem with an avalanche of bad choices and decisions. These choices made me feel even more inadequate and stupid. They also made me less energized to pursue a vigorous health-conscious agenda.

I would strongly suggest anyone who has allowed themselves to start thinking as I have, cut it out now. Being HIV or AIDS positive is not the end of life but is only one of our lives many challenges that must be faced and successfully managed

I am now old and ugly. For me, the bridge has already fallen into the creek and sunk to the bottom. But, a young person who is HIV or AIDS positive should live their life to the fullest. They should work to find a cure for the HIV and AIDS virus. Or, I should say, they should make those who have the cure for the HIV and AIDS virus release it.

Being health conscious is not just for those who have an illness. It applies to everyone who wants to be as mentally and physically sound as possible. This is important during our fleeting time of terrestrial existence.

For a person who is HIV or AIDS positive being health conscious also means being health conscious of others. I do not recommend self-imposed isolation as a method of containment. Instead, I suggest being very thoughtful of others. Being considerate is a workable approach to containing the HIV and AIDS virus.

I have done and said things during my life that I feel are deserving of death. Being an animated cadaver is a fitting and just punishment for me. I detest being HIV positive. I abhor being a lethal weapon because of the blood that is coursing through my veins.

I hate that when I see a nice-looking woman my loathsome virus makes me speechless and immobile. I am ashamed of smoking cigarettes, which is why I do it as discretely as I can in public, but my clock has only a few more ticks left in it and if all goes well I will die before my murderous smoky companion kills me with a slow agonizing death.

Being health conscious is not just a good thing to do. It is a necessity if one desires to be mentally strong. It is also necessary to be physically strong and energetic. A person can allow themselves to feel depressed and quasi-hopeless. But, at the end of the day, the day concludes, and life is too fragile and fleeting. It’s too fleeting to waste any moment in anger and self-pity.

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